$50.00
## **UXURY — Comedy Insurance Apocalypse**
**2c40 + 2CD + Insert + Envelope Set**
---
### **TRACK 1 — OPENING CHAOS (C40 SIDE A)**
* Comedian walks on stage.
* Dog insurance pamphlet falls on mic.
* CD1 clicks: *“Accidents can happen at any time…”* (reversed)
**Dog:** jumps on drum kit.
**Envelope insert:** shredded slightly by audience.
**Comedian:** yells, “Lifetime policies cover lifelong laughter… right?”
**Audience:** stares, then laughs anyway.
---
### **TRACK 2 — THE DOG TAKES OVER (C40 SIDE A)**
* Dog chews CD1.
* Pamphlet sticks to its paw: *“Lifetime coverage, renew annually.”*
* CD2 loops reverse barking.
* Comedian trips over a policy form.
* Audience engagement spikes (people laughing at failure).
**GRAPH — CHAOS VS LAUGHTER**
```
LAUGHTER ^
| *
| *
| *
| *
|*
+-----------------> CHAOS
(dog on stage + shredded envelopes)
```
---
### **TRACK 3 — INSERTS AND FLOODS (C40 SIDE B)**
* Insert pamphlets soak up spilled drinks.
* Microphone sticks to wet inserts.
* Dog insurance form becomes a hat for the drummer.
* Comedian tries joke about “weeping pyoderma”
* Audience screams “EXPLAIN THE POLICY!”
**Fake ad breaks inserted mid-track:**
**FLATPAW™ FIRE-RESISTANT DOG BOOTIES**
> “Protect paws while your comedy burns.”
**CONE OF CERTAINTY™**
> “For dogs who can’t stop asking questions.”
* CD1 loops “Lifetime policies, lifetime policies, lifetime policies…”
---
### **TRACK 4 — AUDIENCE INSTRUCTIONS (C40 SIDE B)**
* Audience handed dog insurance inserts as tickets.
* Comedian reads: *“Prevent high, ongoing treatment costs for long-term illnesses or conditions.”*
* Dog sneezes into the mic; pamphlets fly.
* Someone shouts, “Do these cover me if I get allergic to comedy?”
* CD2 plays a barking rhythm in reverse.
---
### **TRACK 5 — STAGE COLLAPSE (CD1)**
* Microphone stand collapses.
* Envelope set bursts open like a firework.
* Dog jumps into open box.
* Pamphlets stick to stage lights.
* Audience laughs hysterically.
**GRAPH — DAMAGE VS COMEDY VALUE**
```
COMEDY VALUE ^
| *
| *
| *
|*
|
+-----------------> DAMAGE
(dog + envelopes + wet inserts)
```
---
### **TRACK 6 — PANIC / INSURANCE LESSON (CD1)**
* Comedian yells: *“Dogs are curious creatures! Insurance exists for a reason!”*
* Dog rolls on pamphlets.
* Insert explains:
> “There are two types of PDSA Pet Insurance policies: Lifetime and Time-limited (12-month) cover.”
* Audience tries to file claims in real-time.
* CD2 scratches, repeating “Time-limited cover… time-limited cover…”
---
### **TRACK 7 — ENVELOPE SET RISES (CD2)**
* Envelope set flaps like wings.
* Dog hops inside one.
* Comedian improvises: *“If you’re insured for laughter, you survive the night!”*
* Pamphlets sprayed like confetti.
* CD1 loops “Accidents happen” while audience tries to read inserts mid-laughter.
---
### **TRACK 8 — CHAOS PEAK (CD2)**
* Entire stage is covered in wet, shredded inserts.
* Dog insurance ads projected onto walls.
* Comedian slides across pamphlets while shouting:
> “LIFETIME POLICIES! RENEW ANNUALLY! YOUR DOG IS WATCHING!”
* CD2 plays a cacophony: reverse barking + policy disclaimers + audience screams.
* Dog stands proudly on top of envelope box.
**GRAPH — INSURANCE COVERAGE VS CHAOS**
```
COVERAGE ^
| *
| *
| *
| *
|*
+-----------------> CHAOS LEVEL
(dog + shredded pamphlets)
```
---
### **TRACK 9 — EPILOGUE / AFTERMATH (C40 + 2CD)**
* Comedian collapsed in corner.
* Dog insurance pamphlets soaked and chewed.
* Audience applauds while drying inserts.
* CD1 ends mid-sentence: *“…renew annually…”*
* CD2 ends with dog bark looping infinitely.
* Envelope set intact, though singed, dog still inside.
**Final Note (inserted in box):**
> “Prepare for accidents—both canine and comedic.
> Some policies cover laughter, some cover scratches,
> but only dog insurance covers *everything at once.*”
* Dog yawns.
* Pamphlets flutter like fallen confetti.
* Comedy night survives… barely.
Numbered edition of a single copy.