$25.00
██████████████████████████████████████████████████
█ UXUR "OR LESS" — C90 INSERT / GRAPHIC MENU █
██████████████████████████████████████████████████
\ ^__^
\ (xx)\_______
(__)\ )\/\
U ||----w |
|| ||
(Mascot: THE HUNGRY INTERVAL BEAST)
```
---
## **I. ALL NOURISHMENT INTERVALS**
```
[::::::O::::::]----[::::::O::::::]----[::::::O::::::]
Intervals wobble.
Intervals snarl.
Intervals appear like ghosts slipping out of your stomach’s WiFi.
```
---
## **II. COMMERCIAL FICTION ENTREE**
```
┌────────────────────┐
│ CHAPTER 7: THE STEW│
└────────────────────┘
|\
| \______ The plot melts.
| Characters drip off the page.
|________Ending consumed by ad copy.
```
---
## **III. OBSOLETE ENGLISH GIBLETS**
```
(þͤ gobbet platter)
__
.-" "-.
/ WHENCE \
| YON |
| GIBLETS |
\ THITHER /
'-.__.__-'
```
Served with old vowels that are no longer valid forms of payment.
---
## **IV. THROAT ORNAMENT VEX-444**
```
________
/` `\
| ⚡⚡⚡ |
| (SCREAM) |
\____ ____/
\/
◇ A wearable entrée
◇ Activates when hormonal storms pass overhead
◇ Emits 3 tones of disgust
```
---
## **V. MEDUSAE À LA PANIC**
```
~~~<><><><><>~~~
~~~< MEDUSA >~~~
~~~<><><><><>~~~
Every tentacle describes a childhood trauma.
Dish may sting you mid-sentence.
```
---
## **VI. DECAMETER ANTENA PASTA**
```
NOODLE LENGTH: 10m
START: [﹤﹤﹤﹤﹤﹤]
MIDDLE: ------------------------------------------
END: [﹥﹥ whisper: "stop ordering"﹥﹥]
```
---
## **VII. FUNCTIONAL GI PLATES (INVISIBLE)**
```
(You look. Nothing there.)
(But also… ow.)
┌─────────────────────┐
│ ∅ FIBER LOAF ∅ │
│ ∅ TRIGGER TRIFLE ∅ │
│ ∅ SYMPTOM SOUP ∅ │
└─────────────────────┘
```
Their symptoms exist.
Their bodies do not.
---
## **VIII. STRUCTURAL GI PLATES (VISIBLE AND RUDE)**
```
╔════════════════╗
║ ⬤ ULCER TART ║ <--- You can SEE the problem
║ ⬤ TWIST STEAK ║
║ ⬤ EVIDENCE PIE ║
╚════════════════╝
↑ harsh lamp
↑ nobody asked for it
```
---
## **IX. SPECIAL: UXUR’S “OR LESS” SURPRISE**
```
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ C90 LOOP OF NUTRITIONAL PANIC │
│ - noodles slapping antenna │
│ - obsolete English curses │
│ - medusa tantrums │
│ - hormonal lightning in the silverware │
│ - fiber advice floating like ghosts │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
⤵
(chef sighs)
**intestine-shaped, collapsing, aggressively scrambled UXUR “Or Less” c90 MENU MAP**, as if printed on a cursed placemat in a diner built inside a malfunctioning digestive tract.
**Everything twists, loops, and misbehaves.**
Graphics degrade on purpose.
---
```
███████████████████████████████████████████
█ UXUR “OR LESS” — MENU MAP / C90 INSERT █
█ (INTESTINAL ARCHITECTURE EDITION) █
███████████████████████████████████████████
START
||
||
\/ (you enter a tube that groans)
╔══════╗
║ MOUTH║
╚══╤═══╝
│ "WELCOME TO TONIGHT'S DIGESTIONS."
▼
~~~~~~~~ <--- saliva fonts dripping
/ \
/ THROAT \ (Throat Ornament Station)
\ ORN. / → chew-to-activate
\________/
|
▼
(esophagus coils like a stolen hose)
_______
/ \
/ ALL \
/ NOURISHMENT\__
/ INTERVALS )
\______ ________/
||
▼
┌───────────────┐
│ MEDUSAE PIT │ <--- tentacle tasting booth
└───┬───────────┘
│
▼
.- - - - - - - - - - - -.
( COMMERCIAL FICTION SOUP )
`- - - - - - - - - - - -'
text bubbles float upward
w/ expired plot coupons
|
▼
┌──────────────────────┐
│ OBSOLETE ENGLISH CELL│
└──────────────────────┘
thee/thy/thou drifting like dust
|
\|/
V
╔════════════╗
║ SMALL BOWEL║ (functional GI zone)
╚═════╤══════╝
│
invisible symptoms here ⇦⇦⇦
│
▼
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ DECAMETER ANTENA PASTA LOOP ~
~ NOODLE: 10m oscillation ~
~ SIGNALS: "Stop chewing." ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
||
\/
╔════════════╗
║ LARGE BOWEL║ (structural GI zone)
╚══╤═════════╝
│ Problems visible under lamp:
│ - evidence pie
│ - twist steak
│ - ulcer tart occasionally hisses
▼
_________
/ \
/ UXUR’S \
( OR LESS )
\ SURPRISE /
\___________/
|
▼
╔══════════════════╗
║ RECTUM / EXIT ║ <--- “NO REFUNDS”
╚══════════════════╝
|
\|/
V
OUTSIDE
|
residue
|
you leave
```
---
Handmade cassette edition of 1