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The cassette hissed before the story even began.
˙uǝƃǝq ǝʌǝu ǝʇɐqS /ɔ 04 ʇlɐɹ pǝlqɐɹ ǝɹoɟǝq
UNSTABLE DRAWL s/t c40 spun slowly inside a tape deck made entirely of wet cardboard and copper pennies.
˙sǝuuǝd ɹǝddoɔ puɐ pɹoq ʇǝʍ ɟo ʎlǝɹǝʇǝɟɹoɯ ʎlǝpǝɹǝʌ pǝɹıɹǝʇuǝ ɟo ʎlǝpɹɐoq ʇuǝʌǝ ʇuǝq
Inside the tape: a hallway where every sneeze sprayed red confetti instead of mist—
˙lɐɯɹǝʇ ɦ sı ʎɹǝsıɹǝs ʇou sı ɦ sı ʎɹǝsıɹǝʇ ɦ
and the confetti whispered in a thousand voices:
“this is not serious, this is terminal, this is not serious, this is terminal.”
˙ǝlƃuᴉɥʇou ɟo sɹoɹɹıɯ pǝlʇnʞ ʎʇʇɹǝd sı ʎʇsɹoɥɔ ɥɔɹnɔ ǝɹıpɹoɥɔ ɐ
A man walked there with a handkerchief that folded into infinity.
˙ʎludǝʞuı ʎlǝpuɐpuus
Each time he blew his nose, the cloth grew heavier with streaks of crimson calligraphy—
˙ʎɹƃoɥʇɐlɔ uoıʇɔɹǝpun sıuɯɹɔ ɥʇıʍ ɹǝʌɐǝɥ ʎlǝʌlɔ ɥʇolɔ ǝɥʇ ʎɹʇ ǝɥ ǝɯıʇ ɥɔɐǝ
spelling out names of doctors who had never lived.
˙pǝʌıl ɹǝʌǝu ǝʌɐɥ ʇou op sɹoʇɔop ɟo sǝɯɐu
He felt proud, as though carrying a library that kept sneezing at him.
˙ʎɹɐɹqıl ɐ ƃuıʎɹɐɹɹɐɔ ɥʇıʍ ɹodp ɐ lǝǝɟ ǝɥ
Suddenly, the floor cracked open—
˙ʎlpuǝpns
and out poured an orchestra of mucus trumpets.
˙sǝuoʇ ssɐɹq ɥʇıʍ ƃuıxıɯ ʞǝǝʞ pouʞ ǝɥʇ punoɔ poʎlq ǝɥʇ
Their music sounded like someone picking their nose inside a cathedral.
˙ʎɹoʇsɐɔ snɔnɯ ɟo ɐ ɟo ʎɹʇsǝʇɥ ʎɹoʇs ǝɥʇ puǝʞɔɐɹɔ ɹooɟ ǝɥʇ
The blood kept mixing with brass tones, dripping into puddles that mirrored nothing at all.
˙llɐ ʇɐɥʇ ƃuıɹoɹɹıɯ ʂlǝpnp oʇ ƃuıddıɹp
At the end of the tape, the narrator coughed politely and said:
˙ʎlno sı ʇı sʍod puɐʍǝɹ oʇ ǝsɹǝʌɐuoɔ ǝɥʇ
"You should see a doctor, but the doctor is inside the cassette. Please rewind to consult."
˙:ɹoʇɔod ǝɥʇ ǝpısuı ɹoʇɔop ǝɥʇ ʇnq 'ɹoʇɔop ɐ ǝǝs ʇɥs noʎ*
edition of 1 unduplicated, numbered.