$25.00
** A Most Absurd Ode to Colon’s Distress**
In days of yore, before time did tread,
In the year of old, two-one-three-four-three-one-one,
By quill of Relentless Intruder, dread,
Stay thy course while I mumble this fun (or none).
Oh rectum ripe and colon wide,
Where fiber doth weave and journeys abide.
Molted glow of a stench so sour,
In midnight’s clutch, we cower and flower.
Abstract anguish doth bloom like a polyp,
A growth benign, yet it doth plop—
Like burdensome thoughts in the depths of night,
Seek ye antibiotics to make it right?
O colon, mine obstrction-ed friend,
Why dost thou twist, why dost thou bend?
In this dungeon where the foul reside,
Take heed, ye dwellers, there’s truth to hide.
Colorectal woes, ye vast and uncouth,
Of screenings and cleanings—bring forth the truth!
A snip of the knife or fiber-filled fare,
To dodge cancer's claw in this dismal despair.
“Funk 93,” oh tune of strange cause,
Much like our bowels, a jumbled applause,
With relenting jests and laughter it sings,
About the oddities that colon brings.
Obstruction! Oh villain, why dost thou linger?
With sour stenches that fiendishly finger
The air around us, all merry and grave,
Do come forth, dear doctor, my life thou canst save.
So heed now, good folk, who in shadows do dwell,
Of the horrors indirect, we have tales to tell.
Let polyps be known, and colonics be free,
In the garden of health, may all strive to be!
In this poem's absurdity, I leave thee tonight,
With visions of colon, a most curious fright,
As time marches on, till the end doth appear,
Remember this ode, and eat veggies, my dear!
Unduplicated edition of 1.