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LE ILLER'S SUPER TEN STRUGGLE
A cautionary cobweb tale, mixtaped straight from the thorax
Yo. LE ILLER, the odious rap king of Crushed Velvet County, was mid-verse—track 4 on his "Super Ten" c90 tape—when he got snagged in a spider web spun out of one full year.
Not metaphorical. Literal.
A whole 365 days looped and twisted into silk: January flaking, June sticky with regrets, and November whispering aphid births.
“Yo, what is this?” he snarled, arms tangled in a sticky August.
His gold tooth shone like an ovipositor under moonlight.
A tiny aphid floated by on a breeze of mixtape static, giving live birth to identical daughters from unfertilized eggs.
“Parthenogenesis, homie,” it squeaked. “No features needed.”
LE ILLER blinked.
Suddenly, a leaf-footed bug appeared on a twig-shaped beat. It laid an egg with a pop like a bass drum, then flew off.
A narrator with an antenna recited over a dusty breakbeat:
“Some creatures be haplodiploid.
The females? Diploid queens of the scene.
Males? Haploid. Freestyle mistakes.”
LE ILLER spat reflexively:
“One X, no Y? That’s how you d-i-e!”
But the web tightened.
Each thread encoded metamorphosis—
Not the metaphorical glow-up kind,
but insect-style:
Complete. Incomplete. Cringe. Winged.
He looked at his own hands. They were larvae now.
Mixtape turning over in his Walkman.
Eight-legged MCs circled, clapping their palps, reciting bug bars:
"Paedomorphosis in the cypher,
Mandibles twistin' like turntable wires!
Asexuals flexin’, no partners required!”
A wasp DJ dropped “Hermaphro-Freak Funk (Extended Sting Mix)”.
LE ILLER wept his final rhyme:
“They said I was odious,
Now I’m just chitinous.
No one told me metamorphosis
could cancel your tour.”
The spider queen lowered herself gently, spinning the final chorus from winter silk:
“You shoulda read the liner notes.”
“Haplodiploidy always wins.”
“Side B is for the nymphs.”