$25.00
*Crickets in the Pituitary: A Hormonal Drift With IN DYE SHORES s/t c90***
*Subtitled: A Tape, A Gland, and the Crunch That Wasn’t Yours*
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The tape hissed.
It wasn’t a normal hiss—it was *mandibular*. A dry-rub rasp encoded directly into the **IN DYE SHORES** self-titled c90 cassette, discovered between hormone treatments in the summer clinic overlooking the iron beach.
This was **not** music for humans with functioning endocrine systems.
This was **tone therapy for glands confused about their job titles.**
As Side A spun, it whispered:
> “Thy thyroid dreams of locusts.”
> “Gnaw the beetle and become sexless fog.”
> “Consume the antenna, rebalance your MBTI.”
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**INTERNAL HORMONE REPORT** *(Auto-logged while the tape played):*
* **Cortisol** attempted to molt.
* **Estrogen** fused with a memory of a grasshopper leg stuck in dental floss.
* **Oxytocin** screamed into a cloth bag shaped like a dung beetle.
* MBTI type shifted from **INFP** to **ENTWIG**, a new designation known only to insects with human names and neglected second brains.
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A voice, possibly belonging to a therapist made of midges, asked:
> “Have you ever eaten insects? On purpose?”
The patient (formerly human, now **Functionally Hormonal Tape Receiver**) answered:
> “Yes. Once. A cricket churro at a futurist market in Tempe. It *clicked back.* Not crunchy. Clicky. Emotional. I dreamed for three days that I was **the inside** of a pillbug.”
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**CULTURAL REFLECTIONS FROM THE GLAND CHOIR:**
* Eating bugs is **normal** in many places.
* Refusing to eat them is not a moral stance, it’s a **texture filter**, often determined by **Si-Fe loops** and TV cartoons from the '90s.
* Your **ESFJ mother** may recoil, not from logic, but from legacy.
* The future *will* involve insects. You can either be part of the first course or the last laugh.
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Side B of the tape plays backward and consists entirely of:
1. A recording of an MBTI test taken by a **swarm of katydids**.
2. A remix of hormones arguing in an elevator.
3. One slow breath.
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**Final Note (scrawled on the tape liner):**
> “If you eat a bug with clarity of purpose, the Klipot *peel off*—
> but if you do it in shame, your glands remember forever.”
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**Status:**
Hormones unstable.
Tape: excellent fidelity.
Bugs: still in the freezer.
MBTI: fluctuating, but **mostly Chewer-aligned.**
Edition of 1 copy.