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# **A BAD SPELLING BEE IN HELL**
*(from **HERETICS** s/t c90 — adjudicated by parasites, translated by pain)*
---
## PROLOGUE: THE FLOOR OF LETTERS
The auditorium is infinite but badly maintained.
Rows of chairs labeled in alphabets that disagree with each other.
Latin. Cyrillic. Greek. Something older that looks like scratches on skin.
Above the stage, a sign flickers:
**S P E L L I T**
**S C R A T C H I T**
**B E C O M E I T**
The cassette clicks in.
Side A hisses like dandruff shaken onto fire.
---
## ROUND ONE: FLEAS / PULGAS / PUŁKI / ノミ
The judge speaks without moving his mouth.
> **“Fleas.”**
A contestant steps forward, already scratching.
### Diagnostic Chorus (spoken in unison):
* *Fleas are a common problem in dogs.*
* *They cause itchy, red skin rashes.*
* *Especially around the lower back.*
The word crawls.
**SPELLING ATTEMPTS:**
* **English:** F-L-E-A-S
* **Spanish:** *pulgas*
* **Polish:** *pchły*
* **Japanese:** ノミ
None are accepted.
### GRAPH I: ITCH LOCATION vs SPELL ACCURACY
```
Lower Back Itch Intensity
│
│ ██████████ <- scratching uncontrollable
│ ███████
│ █████
│ ███
│█
└────────────────────────
Wrong Close Correct
```
The graph keeps updating because the scratching never stops.
Someone spells it **backwards**:
**S-A-E-L-F**
The fleas applaud.
---
## ROUND TWO: MANGE / SARNA / KRÄTZE / 疥癬
The lights dim. The itch spreads outward.
> **“Mange.”**
The judge adds, kindly:
*Mange is caused by the scabies mite.*
Tiny insects descend like footnotes.
### Symptoms appear as subtitles:
* itchy
* red
* thickened skin
* patchy hair loss
A handler in the audience starts scratching too.
### GRAPH II: CONTAGION SPREAD (HANDLER PROXIMITY)
```
Distance from Contestant (meters)
│
│ ███████████ <- touching
│ ███████
│ ████
│ ██
│ █
└────────────────────────
0 1 2 3 4
```
**Languages fracture:**
* **German:** *Krätze*
* **Russian:** *чесотка*
* **Latin (misused):** *scabiosis eternum*
Someone screams the word in Greek letters.
The mites spell it themselves on skin.
---
## ROUND THREE: DEMODEX / ДЕМОДЕКС / ديموديكس
A bell rings softly, like a puppy’s heartbeat.
> **“Demodex.”**
The announcer sighs:
*These mites normally live on the skin without causing problems.*
The word sits quietly. Too quietly.
Then the immune system flickers.
### Visual Cue:
Crust forms around eyes, feet, mouth.
Letters stick there.
### GRAPH III: IMMUNE STABILITY vs WORD HOSTILITY
```
Immune Strength
│
│██████████ <- healthy (word dormant)
│███████
│████
│██
│█ <- word becomes aggressive
└────────────────────────
Stable Low Failing
```
**Spoken softly in multiple tongues:**
* *más común en cachorros*
* *häufiger bei Welpen*
* *più comune nei cuccioli*
The puppies spell it correctly.
The adults lose hair anyway.
---
## ROUND FOUR: RINGWORM / TEIGNE / 白癬
The floor lights up in circles.
> **“Ringworm.”**
The judge reassures:
*Fortunately, it is quite rare.*
No one believes him.
Circular red patches bloom like punctuation marks.
### GRAPH IV: RING DIAMETER vs TIME
```
Diameter (cm)
│
│██████████
│███████
│████
│██
│█
└────────────────────────
0 5 10 15 20 min
```
**Languages rotate:**
* *teigne*
* *tiña*
* *白癬*
The word is spelled perfectly in six languages.
Still wrong.
Hell dislikes circles that close too neatly.
---
## FINAL ROUND: ALLERGIES / ALLERGIES / ALERGÍAS / 알레르기
Silence.
> **“Allergies.”**
No definition is read aloud.
The symptoms speak instead.
* itchy skin
* rashes
* unpredictable flare-ups
### GRAPH V: TRIGGER UNKNOWN
```
Cause
│
│?????????????
│?????????????
│?????????????
│?????????????
└────────────────────────
Food Air Touch Thought
```
Someone spells it:
**A-L-L-E-R-G-I-E-S**
Another spells it:
**A-L-E-R-G-I-A-S**
A third doesn’t spell.
They just break out in hives.
### BACKWARDS CHANT FROM THE CROWD:
*sehsar y t ihc ti*
*niks y hcti*
*noitcaer si drow eht*
(The word **is** the reaction.)
---
## EPILOGUE: THE JUDGE SCRATCHES
The cassette reaches the end of c90.
No rewind. No winner.
The judge finally scratches his own neck.
In the exit hall, the rules are posted in every language at once:
* **English:** You may spell correctly and still be wrong.
* **Spanish:** El picor decide.
* **German:** Der Juckreiz richtet.
* **Latin (incorrect):** *Verbum non nocet. Pruritus regnat.*
On the way out, everyone feels an itch that doesn’t exist yet.
The spelling bee continues
inside the skin
where no alphabet agrees.
Unduplicated edition of 1.