$100.00
*A A AM**
## **"The End Of God" — 12C90**
### **The Extremely Unnecessary, Completely Confused, Deluxe Box Set Edition**
### *Including: 12 Discs, 90 Invisible Chapters, One Jealous Animal, Neptune Tombstone Pizza, and an Insert That Nobody Ordered But Everyone Read*
---
## BOX SET WARNING
This box set is not recommended for:
* people who like beginnings,
* people who like endings,
* people who know what day it is,
* people who expect a story to remain in one location.
The manufacturer clearly states:
> "This product contains excessive nonsense, backwards weather, imaginary archaeology, and at least one animal with emotional pizza-related problems."
The box itself is larger on the inside.
Nobody knows why.
The delivery driver refused to carry it after the box whispered:
> "We have arrived before you."
---
# DISC ONE:
## THE INTRODUCTION THAT HAPPENED AFTER THE CONCLUSION
The story begins with the end.
The end was standing at a bus stop.
The bus stop was waiting for the bus.
The bus was waiting for the road.
The road was waiting for permission from a rock.
The rock was waiting for a sandwich.
The sandwich was waiting for history.
History was late.
Therefore:
The end was delayed.
---
The title appeared in enormous letters:
# A A AM
Nobody knew what the letters meant.
Some claimed:
**Ancient Astronomical Audio Machine**
Others claimed:
**A Angry Animal Ate Monday**
The official explanation:
> "It means whatever it needs to mean when it arrives."
---
# DISC TWO:
## THE END OF GOD
The title caused several problems.
Mostly because nobody could agree what "the end" meant.
Was it:
* the end of a road?
* the end of a sentence?
* the end of a sandwich?
* the end of an argument?
* the end of a very long meeting?
A committee was formed.
The committee lasted 400 years.
The committee ended.
Nobody noticed.
---
# THE JEALOUS ANIMAL OF NEPTUNE
The strangest character in the entire box set was an animal from Neptune.
Nobody knew what species it was.
The records listed:
Animal:
**Jealous**
Diet:
**Tombstone pizza**
Home:
**Neptune**
Personality:
**Extremely upset about everyone else's pizza**
---
The animal discovered that another creature on Neptune had a better pizza.
This was unacceptable.
The animal marched across the frozen oceans carrying a fork made from moonlight.
It shouted:
> "WHY DOES YOUR TOMBSTONE PIZZA HAVE MORE PEPPERONI THAN MINE?"
Nobody answered.
Because nobody on Neptune understood pizza arguments.
---
The animal ate tombstone pizzas.
All of them.
Thousands.
Millions.
The pizza monuments disappeared.
The pizza historians cried.
The pizza archaeologists resigned.
The animal became even more jealous because now everyone was looking at it.
---
A Neptune newspaper headline:
```
LOCAL ANIMAL EATS HISTORY
Reason:
"THE OTHER GUY HAD A BETTER SLICE"
```
---
# DISC THREE:
## THE GREAT DIGESTION ORCHESTRA
Inside the box set was a strange educational insert.
It explained:
> Stomach acid, or gastric acid, is a watery, colorless fluid that’s produced by your stomach’s lining.
The musicians stopped playing.
The aliens stopped dancing.
The jealous animal stopped eating pizza for approximately eleven seconds.
Then the insert continued:
> It’s highly acidic and helps break down food for easier digestion. This helps your body absorb nutrients more easily as food moves through your digestive tract.
The orchestra immediately created a song.
It was called:
**"THE ACID THAT KNOWS ITS JOB"**
Nobody liked the title.
Everyone liked the rhythm.
---
The final paragraph of the insert said:
> In order to break down everything from meat to tough, fibrous plants, stomach acid has to be highly acidic.
The Neptune animal stared at the paper.
It whispered:
"Finally. A force more powerful than pizza."
---
# DISC FOUR:
## THE BACKWARDS LANGUAGE DEPARTMENT
The box included a translation guide.
Nobody could translate it.
Example:
Forward:
> "The animal eats pizza."
Backward:
> "azzip stae lamina ehT."
Neptune dialect:
> **"Vorrak shen tal mooka."**
Meaning:
> "The hungry creature remembers the missing circle."
---
Another language:
# GRUM-90
Forward:
> "Moon water sleeps."
Backward:
> "speels retaw nooM."
Meaning:
> "The future is hiding under the spoon."
Nobody asked why.
---
# DISC FIVE:
## THE GRAPH COLLECTION
The box included several charts.
All were incorrect.
Therefore they were considered historically valuable.
### JEALOUSY LEVEL
```
Animal
100% | X
|
75% | X
|
50% | X
|
25% | X
|
0% |
-------------------------
pizza more pizza
```
---
### STORY CONFUSION
```
Beginning
#
Middle
########################
End
?
```
---
### TOMBSTONE PIZZA INVENTORY
```
Before animal:
##########################
After animal:
#
```
---
# DISC SIX:
## THE BOX INSIDE THE BOX
Inside the deluxe edition box was another box.
Inside that:
A smaller box.
Inside that:
A note.
The note said:
> "You have found the final box."
There was another box.
Inside:
Another note.
> "You have found the actual final box."
There was another box.
Nobody trusted the boxes anymore.
---
# DISC SEVEN:
## THE ENDING THAT REFUSED TO END
A A AM attempted to finish the story.
The ending walked away.
The ending returned.
The ending apologized.
The ending brought flowers.
The ending said:
"I was busy becoming another beginning."
Nobody accepted the apology.
Everyone accepted the flowers.
---
# FINAL INSERT
The last insert in the box set contained one sentence:
> "The universe is probably not as organized as everyone hopes."
The jealous Neptune animal framed it.
The pizza ghosts approved it.
The stomach acid orchestra performed it.
The backwards languages translated it.
The box itself whispered:
> **"Rav mek tal osh."**
Translation:
> "The story continues because nobody closed the lid."
---
# A A AM
## "The End Of God"
## 12C90
## COMPLETE BOX SET
Contents:
✓ Too much story
✓ Too many boxes
✓ Too much pizza history
✓ One extremely jealous animal
✓ One stomach acid educational insert
✓ Several languages going the wrong direction
✓ An ending that escaped
---
When the final disc stopped spinning, the listener expected silence.
Instead they heard:
A fork.
A pizza box opening.
A tiny animal sighing.
And a voice from Neptune saying:
> "Who ate the last tombstone?"
The answer was obvious.
The answer was impossible.
The answer was already printed on the box.
**A A AM.**
Edition of 1, unreproduced